October 30th, 2002

(no subject)

“Confusion is a definite direction”
Splendid - Charge

I’ve been of work ill for the past two days and I can happily say it no longer hurts to breathe. The problem is that I really do not want to be here right now, not in my normal ‘I wish I were still in bed’ sense but more of a ‘there’s a fluttering in my chest, my skin feels itchy, there’s a lump in my throat, I keep blinking, everything’s too noisy and the walls are closing in on me’ sense. Suffice to say that this is not one of my finest working hours.

“ It's always cold always day always here always say I'm alright
I'll be okay if I can keep myself awake”

Black Lab - Keep Myself Awake

Money is not being good to me this month, I have more going out that I do coming in. I have just about enough left to pay my rent, it is in fact a good job I got too much food last month because I do not have the money to buy any more.

“ Like do you think I'm sexy
Do you think I really care”

K’s Choice - Virgin State of Mind

My sleep has gotten odd lately (aside from the dreams), it used to vary from about 5-7 hours a night, 4-8 on weekends. This isn’t too bad, it’s a reasonable amount, it has regularity. In the past week it seems to have become 2-12 hours, weekends I’m regularly waking up at six, weekdays I find it hard to drag myself out of bed before seven (except for yesterday when I got to sleep around 5, woke up at 7 and had 2 hours to kill before I could go to the shops to pick up a few things I needed). For the first time I can remember my dreams have been comic based. In one I was explaining to a female friend the nuances of Young Justice and why it wasn’t just a JLA knock-off to attract younger readers. In another I went to buy some comics, I got X-Men and Evangelion (I never buy Evangelion comics), when I got home they were in french and the back page was four forms that you could pull off that said (in french, I couldn’t read the rest of the comic but this I could) “If this comic is in french plese send us this form”.

“ I know I dreamed you a sin and a lie,
I have my freedom but I don't have much time
Faith has been broken tears must be cried,
Let's do some living after we die”</i? The Sundays - Wild Horses