September 2nd, 2002

(no subject)

“We control all that you will see and hear.”

Monday signals the return to work. It has been a good week, me not being at work. The last Friday I was here was so unbelievably busy that I had no chance to do anything.

“I like to watch you sleep at night, to hear you breathe by my side.”

I’ve enjoyed my week, the major factor in this has been reading. I enjoy reading but it’s something I don’t do nearly enough.
Tuesday: How To Be Good by Nick Hornby
Wednesday: The Girl In The Attic by some woman
Thursday/Friday: Fight Club by Chuck P something or other
I am now working my way through The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold.
I am so glad to have had this week to remind me how much I love reading.

“I said the only thing I’ve got more of is time.”

I checked at the bank at lunch to find out that I am £50 overdrawn.
The problem with this: I do not have an overdraft, I have not yet been fined but if it has to wait another 3 and a half weeks I may well be so I need to somehow scrape the money together before it ends up costing me even more.
This is why I have avoided things like check books, overdrafts and credit cards because I knew something like this would happen.

“Life springs eternal from a gaudy neon street, not that I care at all.”

I was going to go to collage tonight but I don’t think I will, I’ll still see Mom and Nan but I’m no longer in the mood to expand my mind. I just want to run away, to hide and shrink until no-one can see me. To simply vanish. I think I need to get a part time job.

“I am the way and the light."

I hope to catch up on everything but I doubt I'll be able to find the spare time. Well wishes.

"The movie's over, take a bow."

(no subject)

Being A Not-Quite-Guy

This mainly involves being there when needed and just being around when not. A shoulder to cry on when things are just not right. Someone she can share a room or a bed with and only have to worry about lack of sleep through talking. She can get changed in the same room as you because you can be trusted and you honour that trust, as she knows you will. You are there for the ‘girlie chats’, the only guy she knows who she can talk to about her period or cute guys. If things go horribly wrong she can call you at three in the morning and you will talk to her if she does. She talks to you about sex and you toss relationship questions back and forth, you know things about her that no-one else does. She feels safe with you, she doesn’t want to attract or need to compete with you, you may even be the only person outside her family that sees her without make-up. She feels no romance towards you but you may share a drunken kiss when you both feel lonely. You are her safety net, she trusts you to know when to take her out for a drink and when to stop her reaching for a glass, no matter how she is you will get her home safely. She can bitch and moan about men, insult you for being male but knows that you wont take it seriously because to her you don’t fit that category. You are not exactly one of the girls but that fits better than a man.