January 23rd, 2002

Let's play catch-up.

This is about me. There may be embellishments but it is essentially what passes as fact with regards to my life. The chances are it will be one sided, all things are told from my perspective, this is not an objective view, this is my life according to me.

Some of you will already know this or at least the basis.
Some of you were involved in this and still are.
Some of you are recent editions to this journal and are mostly unaware of my past and unless you have read all there is to read about me here do not know many of the events of the past year, I will try and bring you up to date.

Names and identities are not hidden to protect the innocent, The real people(for a friend to be truly real I need to have had some form of direct involvement in their life/they in mine. This does not mean that I do not view internet friends with great affection, I do, it�s just that they are on the intangible side of things) who read this will know who I talk of no matter what I call them and the internet people will not know them but if anybody has a complaint with regards to privacy then please inform me through either comment or email and I will consider what you have said.


These are the people I know or knew that reside in this electronic place.
In chronological order:

Stokesyy (JS)
We first met in cubs(aged 7/8 I think), we parted ways soon after and ended up in the same class at school(aged 12-18). We are good friends now. He is in his final year at the University of West England studying for a Fine Arts degree.

Frightened (Bear)
We first met approximately 4 years ago through a mutual friend. Our friendship was spotty at times but we are now in close contact. She is now taking a year out to work before going to Birmingham Uni to study History(I think - sorry Bear, I should know).

Carpathia (CL)
We have met intermittently at parties and the like over the past 2/3 years. We began to see each other on a regular basis nearly 18 months ago. She is currently coming to the end of a 6 month placement teaching English in Poland.

Flatline2010 (DH)
We met on October 11th 1999, he was the new boy at work. He retains his position.

Last Dance (NO)
We met October 31st 1999, I went out with Bear and some of her friends for Halloween. We went out, we broke up. She is currently at school

Streak of Black (SA)
We met soon after, she was going out with Bear at the time. We went out, we broke up. I believe she is still in school.

Telyaminh (BA)
We met soon after through Bear and NO at Memorabilia(Sci-fi/comic con). She is currently at Derby Uni.

Smirnoff Waste (SC)
We met soon after through Bear and NO. She is currently at school.

Translucent (SF)
We met at the same time through NO, I place her second because SC and myself became closer sooner. We are currently going out and she is in school.

Shoe Box Girly (ER)
We met last year. She is currently at school.

Pseudotruth (JM)
We met last year. She is currently at school.

In The Beginning

I was born at 8:24 a.m. on Sunday March the 15th 1981 and named Lloyd shortly after. I am the son of Michael and Shirley, they were never married and split up 3 years later. He is white and she is half-cast while I have the lightest skin in the family.
I have very few memories of them together other than arguments but my earliest memory is:
The second car Dad got(which he has to this day) was a Morris Minor, he was very into cars and we went to the Morris Minor rally at Western Park every year and I can remember The Big Green Bumpy Slide while they were together.


Was not fun. I was not popular, I didn�t enjoy it. I was the joke, I was the school punch bag for the most part.
Things were better in 6th form(16-18) mainly from 17 onwards, I began to make friend, I�m still in contact with some of them and live with on(the ever present Bry) and at 17 I found my first girlfriend.


Her name was, is Ag and she was in the year above me. We were together for exactly one week shy of 15 months. The first time we met she set fire to my hair(in school), we finally decided that we were going out by yelling at each other in the street. After 2 months we had sex (I wasn�t her first, she was mine), after 3 months I proposed and she accepted. It should have ended before it did, for four months every time I saw her I wanted it to be the time she broke up with me. She never did. It ended on Sunday the 17th of October 1999 (after I went to a party on the 16th that involved me and Bry) when I broke up with her, this was not easy. For about a month after I couldn�t be alone or at home because we had spent so much time there, I virtually lived at Emma�s. We attempted being friends but it didn�t work, I stopped seeing her when she told me(paraphrasing) that when my Granddad died it was nothing compared to the death of her cat.


My first real experience of death was my Granddad (Mom�s Dad).
Now I have an odd family, Mom and Angela(her sister) were fostered when she was 2 and Angela was 1. Nan (Mom�s foster Mom) was instrumental in my raising, she looked after me a lot, she is almost a 3rd parent. When I think of family it tends to be Mom, Nan and Dad( not in any specific order).
I�d met Granddad for about 30 seconds at a cousins birthday party 2 years before he died and that was it. He was originally from Jamaica and moved over after WW2. It was very strange to have a family member so close that you don�t know, have barely met, die.
At his funeral I knew maybe 6 people out of 50 or so, everybody there was family. That�s when I realised I�d never know my family.


Has been very instrumental in my life and the chances are it will remain that way.
She was the first person I was ever attracted to the moment we met(this is not something that has boded well for me).
We have had a very convoluted relationship with numerous ups and downs but seemed to have settled down into a �holding pattern� at the moment. We have our occasional drunken frolics but not while I�m with someone(last one - house warming party on Sunday, August the 26th) and seem to be coping with living together reasonably well.


After Ag came Carrie, we were together for 6/7 months from January 9th 2000 (I think). This time there were no proposals. It was nothing extraordinary, emotional involvement, good sex, the usual relationship stuff. She was my rebound girl, not from Ag but from Bry, while we never went out there were strong emotional upheavals between us.

One Night Special

I have never had a one night stand but in-between Ag and Carrie I once came close. Friday the 6th of November 1999(the day I had the interview and got my job) I went to a club(Snobs) with Emma. I ended up talking to a girl called Lucy and it was good, Unfortunately we had nowhere to go...
I do not have the mind set for one night stands, I can still remember everything about her.

In Between

Things were mostly quiet after me and Carrie. Me and Bry did our little dance again and again but for the most part it was a calm few months until...

Halloween 2000

Was the day 3 things happened:
1. Emma moved to Blackpool.
2. I started hangin� with Bear again.
3. I met NO.

NO and SA

She was the second person I have found instantly attractive, I hadn�t learnt from what happened with Bry. We got together on Saturday the 11th of November 2000 and lasted until Thursday the 8th of March 2001. It was a fucked up situation, I wanted her and she wanted someone else, I was drinking more than I should have, we cheated on each other(with the same people) and I ended up sleeping with SA while NO was away one weekend. I was honest about it and somehow ended up with two girlfriends, it wasn�t glamorous, it wasn�t exiting and it wasn�t fun. It all ended with me breaking up with them both at the same time.
After this me and NO became closer for a while and then just stopped dead. We no longer communicate.


Has not always been what you would call a friend. Twice in recent times I have had to stop drinking for my own good.


I�m with SF and it�s good, we got together on Saturday the 25th of August and it has continued. She is the first person I have been with to make me happy when she is near and far.
I seem to be drinking in moderation.

This may be added to or it may not, there is still much unsaid but I�m on my 5th page(Word Document) and I finished work nearly 3 hours ago and I�d like to go home.